Just because you're paranoid...

Friday 28th Jan 2011 by theWeather Club

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they are not out to get you, the old saying goes. Conspiracy theories have been around for years concerning everything from crop circles to the moon landings, so it is not surprising that climate change has spawned a few of its own. This week the Daily Telegraph newspaper collated some of the more amusing. This is just a brief selection.

An American plot, where the theory has been created by America so weapon tests that could cause droughts, destroy crops, and disrupt weather conditions in various countries can be explained away. An anti-Western plot where the talk of climate change is a variation of the left-wing, anti-American, anti-west, anti-globalisation propaganda spread by those who believe that everything done by the industrialised world is wicked. An anti-East plot where global warming is a plot hatched by the West to deprive the developing world of its fair share of the planet's resources. A right-wing plot where the various industrially influenced governments used climate change to help promote nuclear power, therefore removing the energy industry from the realms of normal industrial relations. A left-wing plot where left wing forces – though who they are is not clear – aim to create a centrally planned planet with no free movement of money or ideas. A good old fashion scam with scientists peddling scare stories to gain continued funding. One author even claims that environmentalists want to undermine economic growth so our systems can't support as many people as they do at the moment.

So there is wide agreement among the conspiracists that there is a conspiracy or two out there. However there appears to be less of a consensus on the details, such as who they're run by, who they're aimed at, where they're based or what their aims are. So we are left with an indeterminate number of conspiracies run by shadowy interests, against various people, from multiple bases, with differing aims. One can only hope that these conspiracies really are only theories, because if you had to close a real one down, where on earth would you start looking?